dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
