You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
