Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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