I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
