so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
