It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
We got so high we made milksteak
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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