Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
