ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
