Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
