We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Randomize
