I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
