My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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