I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
