so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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