idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
