i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
