this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
