I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
