I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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