Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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