If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
