So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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