I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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