Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
