there was a trapeze. enough said
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
