Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
