how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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