Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
