Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
