At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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