Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
