If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
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