I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
