I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
