hotel room ftw
I am puke
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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