I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
