did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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