I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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