Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
