Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
