You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
