She is in my trunk
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
do nipples grow back?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
