can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
