Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
