I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
