So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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