she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
he was CRYING into my vagina
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
