I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
