Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
