They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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