friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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