its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
